(Hello, i am asking for adivce about what i have written below, it is the basic plot of the novel i am going to attempt to do for NaNoWriMo. I'm not sure where it will be in the novel though.......i am a new writer! Thanks!)
Natalia Spence thought she was alone in her home. She was doing her favourite thing, writing love stories. The ones where the men always sweep the women of their feet. It was better than doing her maths coursework. She was so engrossed that she didn't hear her Mum's botfriend left himself in with the key he'd been given earlier that day. She didn't here him come up the stairs. So when he walked in to her bedroom there was nothing she could do to escape, nowhere to run too. And life was about to change for Natalia and the rest of her family forever.
Fiona Spence was still at work, sitting at her desk when she got the phone call. It was the police and they were saying something about her daughter, she didn't hear what it is was about though, but she assumed that the little brat had got herself into trouble, probably with that boy that she'd been seeing recently, but as she entered the police station Fiona realised that it was much more than that.
But will Fiona be able to accept the truth?
Hi there.
ReplyDeleteWriting about such things is tough emotionally for the writer and for the individual reader, so well done for trying this.
Overall I like your premise, just be careful not to stereotype the characters or the plot - It's been done in many many melodrama's as I am sure you are aware, so if you can, try and throw in some surprises - make the reader guess wrongly on what is about to happen etc.
With regards to the phone call from the police about her daughter.. I obviously am not a mum, but don't most mum's pay attention when the police call them about their child? I get the whole denial nonsense because she can't see the monster that she is married to.. as I said, see that a million times over in melodrama and soap opera type fiction.
I hope you don't mind my honest appraisal, and I am sure others will disagree. I just don't want you to get in the habit of writing formulated a + b = c, the same as every other writer of this type of work.
I hope that my comments help, and best of luck doing the NanoWrimo - I am not about to attempt that whilst doing my OU courses as I wouldn't have the time for both!
Best Wishes
Neil
Won't let me edit the comment. I just noticed that I forgot to tell you that it works well as a 'blurb' for the story. Now when you write it, keep in mind the idea's of surprising the reader - twist it up, change the conventions about etc, to help keep it fresh, and good luck!
ReplyDeleteAs Neil says wouldn't a Mum pay more attention if she recieved a phone call about he daughter? As to where to put this piece, I would avoid putting it at the beginning unless its targeted at a purely female lovey dovey type of audience which I imagine it isn't but other than that get writing when you've got a lot more done you will find it much easier to place bits of writing in their natural order. So my basic advice is to write more, lots more even if you write the end first it doesn't matter just write. Best wishes David.
ReplyDeleteI also agree on the mum+police thing. Perhaps some more description about Natalie / the room to give us more of a sense of her character? Ditto Fiona - especially if this is the first time we meet these characters in the book.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, go for it!